When the Holidays Hurt: Missing Someone Who’s Gone

The holidays have a way of magnifying everything—joy feels brighter, laughter rings louder, and memories seem to glow with a kind of golden light. But when someone you love is no longer here, that same glow can feel like a spotlight on the empty space they once filled.

Grief doesn’t take a holiday. If anything, it pulls up a chair at the table.

The Quiet Moments Hit the Hardest

It’s not always the big traditions that bring the ache. Sometimes it’s the small, ordinary things:

• The recipe only they could make just right

• The ornament they hung in the same spot every year

• The sound of a song they loved drifting through a store

• The instinct to call them before remembering you can’t

These moments sneak up on you, catching you off guard. One minute you’re wrapping gifts or lighting candles, and the next you’re standing still, holding your breath, feeling the weight of their absence settle in.

Grief Is Love With Nowhere to Go

People often say time heals, but grief isn’t something you “get over.” It’s something you learn to carry. Over the holidays, that weight can feel heavier—but it’s also a reminder of how deeply you loved, and how deeply you were loved in return.

There’s a strange comfort in that. A bittersweet warmth. A reminder that their story is still woven into yours.

Honoring Them in Your Own Way

There’s no right or wrong way to navigate the season. Some people find comfort in keeping traditions alive. Others create new ones. Some need quiet. Others need company.

You might:

• Light a candle in their honor

• Cook their favorite dish

• Share stories about them with people who understand

• Write them a letter

• Step outside and take a moment just for them

Whatever you choose, let it be something that feels gentle and true.